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The Truth about Gender

Photo by Josh Felise on Unsplash

Today's world says a lot about gender. Our world values gender very differently than one hundred or even twenty years ago. Nowadays, we can change it, swap it, and redefine it with very few lasting consequences.

Many of us grew up hearing our parents tell us that we could be whatever we wanted to be. We have taken this to heart as we apply this to more than our career paths. More and more it is applied to our identity as humans as we eliminate what we don't like and swap out what we do - even with things that could be considered permanent like gender.

This way of viewing gender is clearly unbiblical. Many churches will agree about this. Many churches are even adjusting policies and document wordings to reflect this as words are continually redefined by culture. But this is where it stops. Churches affirm that the culture's view of gender is unbiblical, but that is often as far as the discussion goes.

Here's why that is a problem. Our youth grow up in an ever changing culture that the Church is not always ready to combat. We often teach children and teenagers what is wrong and what is right, but how often do we connect the dots between those two? We can pretend all we want that we are immune from adopting cultural views on these things. But the reality is that no matter how spiritual we are, we are never immune to believing lies, especially when we come face to face with those lies six days a week, and only combat them on the seventh.

"...the reality is that no matter how spiritual we are, we are never immune to believing lies..."

Cultural lies are much more complex than one phrase that we identify as either true or false. They seep into our everyday thoughts, emotions, attitudes, and philosophical frameworks. So if we want to combat them with truth, we have to do a whole lot more than just shut them down as ridiculous.

The truth is, the simple lie that gender is interchangeable seems a whole lot less ridiculous when you have already accepted the philosophical framework of our culture. This is why our discussion surrounding gender in the church needs to go deeper and further.

Not long ago, I started wrestling through what gender means. I felt very strongly that it was not only connected to my reproductive body parts. I felt that there was a spiritual and emotional side to gender as well. But I also came up against the fact that so many of my ideas about gender were deeply influenced by cultural values and ideas. What, I wondered, would the Bible tell me if I began to study this topic? So I did.

The problem that I came up against is that we, the church, are very comfortable talking about gender in relation to reproduction and gender roles within marriage, but beyond that the topic of gender gets a bit foggy. I am all for a healthy view of gender within marriage, but as a single adult woman, that is not my main concern. I began to realize that I had been taught how to be a Christian wife more than I knew how to be a Christian woman. So I began to do research for a ten page paper on the theology of gender. I wanted to share my findings. Because I grew up in the church and was surrounded by Christian education, and I still had questions about the meaning and value of gender. I assume that you do too. Because the church doesn't address this side of gender often, I decided to start the discussion.

"...I had been taught how to be a Christian wife more than I knew how to be a Christian woman." 

Our Key Verse

When looking at gender, Genesis 1:26-27 has a lot of valuable information to look at. So this is where I started in my research. The verse says, 

"Then God said, 'Let us make mankind in our image, in our likeness, so that they may rule over the fish in the sea and the birds in the sky, over the livestock and all the wild animals, and over all the creatures that move along the ground.' So God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them."

I always just skimmed over this verse acknowledging that is stated that God made two different genders. But when we look a little deeper, this verse has a lot more to give us.

Let's start with what we already know. God made everything. He made humans. He made all living creatures. He placed humans over all living creatures. And he created Adam and Eve with two separate and distinct genders, in His image.

When we dissect the verse even further, we can see that there is a plurality of persons within the Godhead. God said, "Let US make mankind in OUR image." This makes reference to the Trinity. There are three persons within the Godhead; God the Father, God the Son, and God the Holy Spirit. Each has distinct features and a distinct role, but they work in unity as one God to accomplish the will and purposes of the Lord. This will always be a somewhat confusing concept for our feeble minds to grasp, but it is amazing. It is something we should revel in and something that should cause us to be all the more in awe of our God.

Why it Matters

The Trinity was always a concept I was aware of, but I was never aware of the intense implications this concept had for me as a human. You see, the verse says that God created mankind in his image. This is a unique feature that we have from any other living creature. We were created in the image of God, to reflect his nature and being through how we interact with the world. It is already an amazing fact to note that God made us IN HIS IMAGE! However, the implications of the remainder of the verse are what put me in awe.

God did not just create humanity as a whole in his image. He specifically created male and female as two separate and unique entities withing the larger structure of humanity, and he created each distinctly in His image. This means that because male and female are distinct entities of gender, God created each to distinctly reflect His image in unique ways.

What Does Gender Mean?

One of the challenges I faced when looking at the biblical view of gender was that I did not know who to look at as the example. Surely Jesus was a wonderful example of what it means to live out our humanity in relation to God. Surely the different godly men and women we see throughout the Bible are great examples of living in obedience (or disobedience) towards God. However, these examples vary so much.

A man named Miroslav Volf wrote an academic essay exploring this very thing. In his essay, he first starts by asking where we are to look to find a biblical model for gender. 

He first starts by looking at the gendered terms and metaphors used for God. Will we find our role if we look to God’s sexed titles and roles? Volf eventually concludes that this will not do. Even a God expressed in gendered terms is still God, which is completely other than man. We cannot find what it means to be man by trying to be a gendered form of God. It just does not correlate. It’s like comparing apples and oranges. Or apples and windows. They are completely “other” from each other. 

Volf then asks if we should instead look to specific biblical characters to model manhood and womanhood correctly. However, after examining this option, He says, “given the diversity of male and female characters and roles that we encounter in the Bible, [biblical manhood and womanhood] are not divinely sanctioned models, but culturally situated examples; they are accounts of successes and failures of men and women to live out the demands of God on their lives within specific settings.” (Campbell, 170) Volf then goes on to conclude that the most effective model to look towards to inform our view of gender, is the Triune nature of God. 

So if the Triune nature of God is where we are to look, then what do we know?

1.     There is one God.

2.     There are three persons within the godhead.

3.     The three persons of the godhead each have different roles to play.

4.     The three persons of the Godhead interact in complete unity. (Perman)

      Male and female are designed to function similarly to how the persons of the triune Godhead interact. We are to have differences in our role and function, but not in our value. Just as the three persons of the godhead are different, but equal in value. And just as the three persons of the Godhead have distinct functions and roles, so do male and female. 

"...just as the three persons of the Godhead have distinct functions and roles, so do male and female..."

      The beauty in our differences is the way God designed those differences to work together. Not only are the three persons of the Godhead different, but they work together in complete unity. When differences are woven together with such unity and intricacy like this, beautiful things happen. We are called to reflect this aspect of God’s image by working together as male and female. We each have differences, but as we work together in unity, those differences get woven together into something greater. 

So What's the Difference?

This is where the discussion gets a little trickier. We can all agree that there is a very distinct difference in the physicality of man versus woman. We have different parts, different shapes, and different reproductive functions. When God created Adam and Eve, they knew they were different. He told them to 'be fruitful and multiply', which meant they had to come together. This act of coming together necessitates difference.

However, there are more differences than just in physicality. Even brain scans of each gender will show that we have a different chemical makeup and react to our world in emotionally different ways. But there is one difference that needs clarification.

We have all heard of the terms masculine and feminine. We have different ideas and roles that we might attach to each word. But the truth is, masculinity and femininity, while related to gender, and not the same thing as male and female. A man is not necessarily 100% masculine and 0% feminine. And vice verse. 

A Necessary Distinction

This is where a lot of our discussion about gender can be confused. When we see men that have feminine traits and women that have masculine traits, we  make assumptions because they don't always fit within our categorical structures of man and woman. But the scale of masculinity and femininity is not a measure of how man you are or how woman you are. A man who likes art is no less a man. A woman who likes to build things is no less a woman. They are each expressing their masculine and feminine traits differently. But even if a woman had 100% masculine traits, I still believe it would look differently than a man who had 100% masculine traits. 

Of course there is a healthy and unhealthy way of expressing these things. And the reason this paragraph probably makes you squirm a little is because the traits you're thinking of are false expressions of the masculine and feminine. A woman who is expressing masculine traits does not mean she is trying to be a man. She might like building things, but she does not despise her female-ness. Those that attempt to become more and more like the opposite gender are falsely representing those traits because God did not design them to be anything but the gender they were created as. 

My Conclusions

After doing much research on this topic, I found that many scholars concluded that there is an undeniable difference between genders, but what that difference looks like is often unclear. We know that there is a physical difference. We know that there is a difference between masculinity and femininity. And we know experientially that there is a difference between many men we know and many women we know. However, it is very hard to draw a line in the sand and say 'here is the specific difference'. Does this mean that my research was a waste of time, or that this topic is invaluable? Not at all! 

On the contrary, my findings were of great value. What I found is that because men and women are different, we need each other. This does not mean that we need to exist with each other as separate men's and women's ministries. Yes, these things have their place. But what I mean is that interacting in unity with each other is a necessity to the church. Our witness and growth as believers will be stunted if we do not believe that we are missing out if we do not find unity with both our brothers and sisters in Christ! 

"...because men and women are different, we need each other..."

In his book, A Passion for Christ, David Torrance states that the difference between men and women is more than just biological. "it affects their entire being. They think and feel differently so that their whole contribution is different but in such a way that is entirely complimentary to the other…” (Torrance, 99) If we believe that this is true, then we better live like it. If we believe that the contribution of our brothers in Christ is entirely different, but entirely complimentary to ours, then we need to include them in the discussion. If we believe that our witness and growth will be incomplete without the contribution of our sisters in Christ, then we better start asking them what they think. Unity between genders in the church means more than just coexisting in harmony. It means believing that the furtherance of the Kingdom of God would be completely and utterly lacking without the unhindered contribution of both! 

"Unity between genders in the church means more than just coexisting in harmony. It means believing that the furtherance of the Kingdom of God would be completely and utterly lacking without the unhindered contribution of both!"

We are created in the image of the Triune God and called to reflect His image. An essential part of the image of the Triune God is that all three persons interact in complete unity. All three persons are an essential part of our one God, and we cannot separate them. The way we discuss gender and interact with both genders is a reflection of the image of the Triune God. Our theology is reflected in how we interact with others in unity. 

God has both masculine and feminine traits, which is why He created male and female. Each gender reflects parts of God’s image that the other can’t. There are unique qualities of God that a woman can reflect that a man cannot, and vice versa. This is why it is so beautiful when men and women work together in unity for the furthering of the Kingdom. Then, and only then, is the full image of God reflected in a beautiful and powerful way. The church cannot afford to sell themselves short. Why would we want to reflect only a fragment of God’s image, when we could reflect a holistic and complete view of who God is through our unity and joy? When we limit our community and the voices within, we rob the church of what God created it to be. 

When I look at the church today in relation to gender, I see division. We argue about all sorts of gender issues, and it causes disunity everywhere you turn. I believe that dividing the genders is one of the most effective ways the Enemy uses to keep the church from Kingdom work. 

 Fighting to live God’s way when it comes to gender has always been an uphill battle, especially since sexism is traditionally ingrained in our culture’s and the church’s history. Jesus fought that battle. He fought to have men and women work side by side in His ministry, despite the cultural norms of the time. We will always have cultural norms to fight against. But knowing the potential that there is if we just work together as brothers and sisters in Christ for His Kingdom, should have us scrambling to make it happen. Because if we had a church where gender was unified with one purpose, there is no limit to what could happen!

Sources cited in this article:

Perman, Matt. "What Is the Doctrine of the Trinity?" Desiring God. N.p., 23 Jan. 2006. Web. 27 Mar. 2017.

Torrance, Thomas F., James Torrance, David W. Torrance, Gerrit Scott. Dawson, and Jock Stein. "Marriage in the Covenant of Christ." A Passion for Christ: The Vision That Ignites Ministry. Eugene, OR: Wipf & Stock, 2010. 91-111. Print.

Volf, Miroslav. "The Trinity and Gender Identity." The Gospel and Gender: A Trinitarian Engagement with Being Male and Female in Christ. Sheffield: Sheffield Academic, 2003. 155-78. Print.

Ethnocentrism and the American Dream

When you read your history books in school, who did you want to be?

You see, I grew up with grand visions of the American Dream dancing in my head. I learned about different people throughout history, and I wanted to be them. I was especially enthralled with two specific time periods. The first was that of the pioneers who moved out west to start a new life with the promise of opportunity. I loved their bravery and creativity. I was also enthralled with 1950's America. I loved watching scenes in movies where the ladies in the skirts that flared out at the waist danced to big band music. I loved watching shows like Leave it to Beaver and I Love Lucy. I wanted to pursue the white picket fence life as I baked cinnamon rolls in my kitchen and my family sat around the television set talking and laughing. I grew up wanting to become some combination of Laura Ingalls and Lucille Ball. That was the goal. The American dream was my dream. 

This dream began to shatter when I left the country for the first time and was immersed in Central America for a week. This was the first time when I truly realized what it might feel like to be a minority as I walked through the streets and the sun beat down on my glaringly white skin. The first time I was dropped off at my host home, I realized the frustration of a language barrier, and the insufficiency of my very broken Spanish. 

I had always thought of other places in the world as entirely different entities than my home in the United States. In my mind, they were entirely other. I was shocked when I first heard American pop music playing on the radio station, or was invited to watch a movie with the youth group who explained, "Don't worry, it's in English, so you can understand it. Just the subtitles are in Spanish." 

At the same time, I started to become enthralled with an entirely different culture. I saw the beauty,  richness and vibrancy of Latin America for the first time and I fell in love. It was so different from the culture I grew up in, but it had so much to offer to narrow-minded people like me who thought the U.S. was the best the world had to offer. I was amazed by the beauty of the art and music and legacy of these Latin American people. The America Dream began to pale in comparison to the vibrancy and relationality that I saw here. As I traveled to other Latin American countries, I noticed the same things, but it started to weigh heavy on my heart that these beautiful people didn't see their culture and heritage the same way. They were also chasing the American dream to some extent. 

Let's take a moment to define what we're talking about. Dictionary.com defines the American Dream as, "a life of personal happiness and material comfort as traditionally sought by individuals in the U.S." Basically this is saying that the goal in life is to be as happy as you can by working to obtain material

belongings and live a comfortable life. This is traditionally seen as a happy family that lives in a big house, has nice cars, wears nice clothes, etc. This dream was perpetuated by media in 1950's America, but continues to be perpetuated today in IKEA ads with marble counter tops in the kitchen and a flat screen TV with a leather recliner in the family room. Maybe we don't always admit to chasing the American dream, but we want those marble counter-tops, don't we? 

Apart from materialism generally not being a great quality to have, this pursuit of the American dream becomes dangerous when we begin to think of America as the greatest nation in the world, or the 'Land of Opportunity'. Is the United States more developed than many other countries in the world? Yes. But does that mean it is more valuable? No. This is where we run into problems. 

This is why the campaign slogan, "Make America Great Again" was so powerful. That small phrase contains so many connotations promising what we all chase. It brings our minds back to 1950s America where the American dream seemed alive and well. It brings our minds back to a time when America was creating and inventing and flourishing. It brings our minds back to a time when we were free from war and when life was much simpler and  happiness permeated every home. It makes us think back to a time when America truly was the greatest nation in the world. 

But....was it? The American dream has always been a lie. This 'dream' was not the story of every household in America. The American Dream excluded every person of color, as they were forced to sit at the back of buses and drink from different water fountains. Behind every white picket fence was a story that looked much different from the story told by advertisers, as they counted on this dream to bring them profits.  Behind those white picket fences was brokenness.  As 1950's White America chased the dream perpetuated by ads and television shows, their real life stories included things like alcoholism, abuse, debt, adultery, and the devaluing of people whose skin tones didn't match their whitewashed fences. This should not be news to us. The story of humanity has always been one of sin and brokenness. 

It is time that the body of Christ repents for our pursuit of the American Dream. The American Dream is a destructive form of idolatry that the devil has been using to ingrain lies into our lifestyles. Material comfort has never been what we are called to pursue as believers.  And when we view America as this great nation, we center our lives around ethnocentrism. The American Dream has never been about opportunity for all; it has always been based on premises that only white America has access to. By proclaiming America as the greatest nation and the American dream as the goal in life, we are essentially devaluing every other country and ethnicity in the world. 

The U.S. is a country that is more developed and wealthy than most, this is true. But as believers, we have to be very careful that this fact does not lead to an arrogance that causes us to view others as lesser. Ethnocentrism is really a problem with perceived value. And this was what broke my heart when visiting other countries and seeing our ethnocentrism impact their cultures. Why should other countries try so hard to Americanize themselves, when they have such a rich culture and heritage within their own homes? 

As believers, we are called to find unity in the worldwide body of Christ. And we need to start realizing that this unity can be made so much richer through diversity! It's so easy to go to other countries on missions trips thinking of all we have to offer them, but how often do we ask what we could learn from our brothers and sisters in other parts of the world? When we do not join with the worldwide church in its mission to obey the commands of Christ, we are missing out on a very valuable part of the full story of what God is doing in our world. When we do not ask how the African church worships God or how the Asian church approaches missions, or how the Hispanic church serves the oppressed, we are missing out on something that we should consider essential. 

A few weeks ago, I stopped at a stoplight behind a car that had a bumper sticker that saddened me. The sticker read, "You're in America. Speak English." This attitude breaks my heart, because I see it put up so many walls, even in our churches. My home church shares it's building with a Spanish church and I often cross paths with people from the Spanish congregation. One day, I was walking through the church with my friend, who used to attend the Spanish church. People were surprised to see her there and greeted her warmly, asking her how her family had been. When they turned to me, their warm greetings were silenced. They forced out an awkward "hello", but then went on their way. What they didn't realize is that I also speak Spanish and understood all of their conversations with my friend. They assumed a language barrier, and that is normal. But the problem is bigger than that. The problem is that so much in our society communicates that there is a shame attached to not speaking English fluently. When these people say hello to me, they do it knowing that their broken English is considered disgraceful by many. And yes, I understand that the language barrier can make life difficult in a country where English is the predominant language spoken. However, it breaks my heart to see the damage that has been done by devaluing the heart language of our brothers and sisters who come from different backgrounds than us. When I hear people speaking a different language in the grocery store or the post office, I get excited because I know that there is an entire culture and heritage that they get to take part in that is different than mine. 

The fact that America is a melting pot of cultures and ethnicity used to be something we celebrated, and now it is something we shame. We can NOT do this within the church. We need to start asking ourselves a lot of questions about how we live out our Western Christianity. We need to start checking our lifestyles and goals against the Scriptures themselves, and whatever does not match up, we need to throw out right away. We cannot let Satan use us to permeate disunity and lies any longer. The ethnocentric attitudes that we don't even know we have are dangerous and they are hurting our brothers and sisters worldwide. Instead of asking what we can give, we need to start asking what we are missing that they have. Church: wake up! Ethnocentrism is sin. We must repent. In a world ripped apart with racial tension, we are called to be different. We have such potential to show the world the love of Christ through our unity. May we never let ethnocentrism get in the way of our witness! 

10 Small Ways to Use Your Summer for Ministry

I don't know about you, but summer makes me feel like I could take on the world. There's just something about the sunny heat and the faint smell of sunscreen, chlorine, and freshly cut grass that speaks to me. Maybe this is because I'm still a student and summer means a break from the norm, but I still think that summer has a special quality about it. Especially for us Northern folks, summer offers a time when we can do things we couldn't do any other time of year.

Despite the specialness of summer, it always seems to go by so fast. September hits and I always wonder where the time went. Summer presents some unique opportunities for ministry that we can't afford to miss. So as this summer season has come upon us once again, these are ten ways we can be intentional to use our summer for ministry:

1. Invest in the children around you.

Summer is an exciting time for kids because they get a break from school. This gives you a great opportunity to invest into their lives in a meaningful way. Pick a few kids or a family that you want to be intentional about investing in this summer. Offer to take the kids to the park or the beach for the afternoon. This would give them a great memory and would give mom and dad a few hours to catch their breath. Another thing you could do is invite a few girls over to dress up and decorate cupcakes, or invite some boys over to go fishing with you. Whatever you do will be fun, but will also be a great way to spend some time with them and build relationships.


2. Invest in the teens around you.

Teens get a break from school in the summer too, but many also work jobs. I know when I was a teen, I always loved when the older people in my life wanted to hang out with me. Offer to take a teen our to ice cream or coffee. It may only be a couple hours out of your day, but it will mean a lot that you cared enough to spend time with them.


3. Invest in the parents around you.

Summer may be a nice break for the children and teens around you, but it is anything but a break for most parents. Many parents scramble to find childcare or set up playdates, because bored children with an entire summer ahead of them does not make a good mix. Offer to watch the kids for a night so mom and dad can go on a date. Or offer to come over and do laundry and cook dinner while mom gets a beach day with the kids. Sometimes just a little sacrifice can make a huge difference and make the summer seem just a little less overwhelming to a parent.


4. Write a note.

 No matter what your summer looks like, it's probably busy. Which means you have a great excuse not to be intentional. But intentionality does not have to be a huge sacrifice of time and energy. Sometimes it's just about being purposeful with your moments. One easy way to be intentional is to set aside a few minutes and write an encouraging note to someone. Let someone know that you appreciate them and are praying for them. Then actually send it! (This is the step I always get sidetracked on.) What a blessing it could be to someone to get mail other than bills that can uplift them on a busy day!


5. Bake a treat!

Sometimes I like to make the joke that food is my love language. And while I do say that in jest most times, there is just something about food that can be so encouraging. Everybody loves food! So bake a treat for someone just to show them they are loved. Do they love chocolate covered almonds? Chocolate almond clusters take only about five minutes and two ingredients to make! Do they love lemon? Lemon bars are a delicious summertime treat to make. What about coffee? Make them some mocha brownie bars! There are even some great gluten free, dairy free, fat free, or sugar free options our there on Pinterest for your friends with special dietary needs. And the best part is that with a few hours of baking, you can bless so many friends around you!


6. Invite your Neighbors over!

Especially when it's cold outside, it can be so hard to connect with the people that live closest to you. But summertime is the best time to break that habit. Invite your neighbors over on a Saturday or Sunday afternoon for a cookout and some lawn games. Don't want to cook out? Set up an ice cream bar where you provide the ice cream and they bring the toppings. Set out some board games and have a great afternoon of connecting with your neighbors and building relationships that would be so easy to overlook.

7. Start a Bible Study or Book club.

Maybe your summer isn't quite as busy as your school year. This might be a great time for you to lead a group of friends through a book of the Bible or a inspiring book by your favorite author. This can be a great way to set some time aside from your summer to be intentional. Talk through the concepts you read and apply them to the everyday circumstances of life. Encourage each other to be intentional and spend time praying for each other. This can also be a great launching point from which more ministry stems.

8. Get plugged in.

There are many times in the summer when we have more opportunities to get more plugged in than other times of the year. Do they need some extra help with your child's summer baseball team? Have you always wanted to help out with the church nursery, but never had time? Do they need more people to help set up or tear down tables on a Sunday? Offer to help. You have time now when you can step in and serve, so don't let it get away from you!


9. Support Missions!

During the summer is when a lot of missions trips are available because so many students are free during the summer months.  This would be a great time for you to get involved with one of these trips. You could research trips around you decide to go on one. Maybe they are going to a different country, or maybe they are just going to a neighboring city, but this is a great opportunity to get involved. If a trip isn't a possibility for you this summer, another way to help out is to support those going on a trip. Offer to write a check to help them meet their goal, or ask how you can be praying for the team. Set up a prayer team so all prayer needs can be covered. Or maybe even offer to give them the proceeds from your garage sale.


10. Be intentional in Prayer.

Prayer is more powerful than we give it credit for sometimes. And in a day and age when so many people comment that they're praying on Facebook, but forget to actually pray, consistent prayer warriors are needed. Set up a prayer wall, where you can stick Post-Its with your prayers on them. Ask your friends and family members to write prayer requests on Post-Its and give them to you to be praying for this summer. This way you can have a whole wall full of prayers for you and for your loved ones. Maybe even look through the news articles online to see what needs other countries may have for you to be praying for. As you constantly pray every day for these things, expect God to answer. Ask God to show His power in mighty ways. And as the prayers get answered, check each Post-It off. Consistently check in with your friends and family about their requests and how you can continue to pray for them throughout the summer. And with a whole summer of consistent praying, who knows what may happen!

There are so many other small ways you can be intentional about ministering to others this summer. But past these suggestions, it's really personalized to you. Are you a parent or a student? Do you live in a big city or a small town? What does your average day look like? Pray for the Lord to reveal specific opportunities you can be intentional about this summer. There is no better time to 'go and make disciples' than the season to go, go, go!

Reflections on Lent from a First-Timer

We've all heard about it before. Lent. The season where religious folks give up something for 40 days and Catholics can't eat meat on Fridays. Many protestants view it as a religious ritual that is strict and unnecessary during this Easter season, but is it really? I decided to find out.

Growing up, I heard about lent once in a while, but it was definitely never at the forefront of my mind. It seemed like one of those religious rituals that went along with the conservative Christendom of the olden days, so I didn't think much of it.

Once in a while I would hear about lent apart from a Catholic context while listening to a Christian radio station or from a friend who decided to observe the Lenten season. I learned that it wasn't just a Catholic discipline and that it was a valuable practice to observe. So I thought that someday I might give it a try. But every year when the Easter season rolled around, I decided I would rather not sacrifice if it wasn't necessary.

This year was different. This year I was attending a Christian Bible school when Lenten season rolled around and I heard more and more people talking about it. Contrary to popular belief, the youth of the church are not crying out for more electric guitars and cool light shows in churches. Instead I see more and more of my friends embracing Anglican churches and liturgical tradition. Individualism has taken its toll, and now Christian millennials are desiring to join with saints past and present in long held tradition to proclaim and live out biblical truths in meaningful ways.

"Individualism has taken its toll, and now Christian millennials are desiring to join with saints past and present in long held tradition to proclaim and live out biblical truths in meaningful ways."

 Slowly through the past couple of years as I have heard more and more professors and students talk about it, I have grown a deep appreciation for liturgy. I never grew up in a liturgical church and didn't understand the meaning behind it as a child. But once I began to grasp its importance, I wished more churches incorporated liturgy into their services.

Liturgy is a way to identify yourself as a part of the worldwide body of Christ and join with the church throughout all time in proclaiming the core truths of Christian doctrine. When a congregation recites the apostles creed, it is not just rote and empty words. Instead, it is a way to join with every other believer who has uttered those words and proclaim the truths of our faith together. What a beautiful act, and what a wonderful way to worship God!

My appreciation for liturgy continued to grow and when Lenten season came upon us this year, I began to reconsider the way I'd thought about it in years past. I had wondered about it from afar for so long, but this year I decided to give it a shot. I admit, I felt like I was shooting in the dark, because I really had no idea what I was doing. I knew the basics - the very basics - and that was it. But you know what's beautiful about that? God didn't care.

So often in the church we feel shame if we don't have all the answers, especially for the kids who grew up in church and went to Sunday school every week. But Jesus never called us to have all the answers. He called us to follow him - even if that means shooting in the dark once in a while.

So when I started out in my lenten journey, I had no idea what I was doing. It ended up being a beautiful way for God to show me that He meets me exactly where I'm at, and he doesn't ask me to have all the answers before I come to Him.

I started off lent by typing in a Google search for "what to give up for lent". Not the most spiritual way to choose sacrifice, I know. The night before Ash Wednesday, I decided I would give up chocolate. This was for many reasons. One is that I often use chocolate to soothe my emotions. I decided I should probably be going to Jesus with that rather than an inanimate object. Another reason I decided on Chocolate is because I LOVE chocolate. I wanted to choose something that would actually be a sacrifice rather than a slight inconvenience. I knew that I would miss chocolate. But on top of that, I knew it would cause me to rejoice all the more when the day of my Savior's Resurrection came. It's a little thing, but just imagine the joy of reaching into that Easter basket and pulling out a chocolate bar to consume after sacrificing that joy for over a month. Looking forward to that small joy has helped emphasize the far greater joy and celebration that the Resurrection brings.

I admit I observed lent imperfectly. I broke it on occasion for specific reasons, and I did not spend as much time spiritually reflecting on the Easter story as I would have liked. But to me, this time was a way to physically experience a symbolic practice that helped prepare my heart for all that this season means. It was an intentional way for me to engage in that meaning.

I went to our campus Ash Wednesday service that Wednesday knowing nothing more than the couple sentence summary a friend had given me about what such a service is meant to be. I felt uncomfortable as I sat down and participated in something so foreign to me. We read prayers together and lamented over our sin. I asked God to teach me how to lament over sin, since I had no clue what that looked like practically. It was the most somber service I have ever attended, and that made me squirm. But it was refreshing to me because it was real. I was uncomfortable because it was new, but I rejoiced because it was beautiful. Why didn't the church join together to lament sin more often?

"Why doesn't the church join together to lament sin more often?"

At the end of the service we lined up to get the ash cross placed on our forehead or hand. This made me uneasy at first because it seemed like such a self-righteous thing to do, just to proclaim to the world how spiritual you were for observing lent. But when they explained that it was a physical symbol to be used as a reminder of our humble place before God, my appreciation for the mark grew. It was truly meaningful to see that symbol on my hand throughout the day and remember the profound truth of where I stand before our great Lord and Master.

As I observed the Lenten season, I also found out that we are not to fast on Sundays. The Sabbath is a day when we are to feast and rest and enjoy God's presence with us. I found that I often forgot to eat chocolate on these days, but the mere freedom to do so was a great reminder to me to enjoy God and celebrate the Sabbath.

As this Lenten season comes to a close, I look back on the past forty days with gratitude. A spiritual discipline that once seemed so rigid and void of meaning has now become very close to my heart and has drawn me to my Savior. I have looked forward to Easter morning more than I have in years because my heart is ready to celebrate. Easter encapsulates the celebration of the biggest scandal ever recorded, when my Jesus gave up everything, made himself nothing, died a criminal's death, and conquered over that death so that the King of Kings can be my Father and Lord. Too often words fall short of expressing all that the gospel means, and too often we reduce it to a monotone 1-sentence summary, but there is truly no better thing to celebrate. Happy Easter! Our Lord is Risen!

Our Lord is Risen!

To learn more about Lent, you can read a blog post my friend wrote HERE.

50% Makes a Difference

What do you see when you look at the women around you?
Do you see moms, daughters, friends, wives, grandmothers, or aunts? Do you see a doctor, a nanny, a teacher, a cashier, or a scientist? Do you see a smear of lipstick with a skirt that's a little too short? Do you see a girl that giggles a little too much when that boy talks to her? Do you see a flawless complexion and curves that make your head spin?

I want you to actually evaluate this before you read on. What are words you would use to describe the women around you? Beautiful? Sweet? Cute? Nurturing? Comforting? Smart? Sarcastic?

I have no doubt that you have some really great women in your life. You probably have some really great friends that are women. Who are those women? And even beyond your own inner circle, I'm sure you have women in your life that you see pretty regularly. Like that one librarian that always checks your books out or that lady at church that you talk to once in a while.

Whoever those women are and however you view them, I want to take a few minutes to challenge your thinking a little bit. Before I do, I want to throw a couple of statistics your way to think about.

This first statistic is one that is sure to shock you. Seriously guys, prepare for your minds to be blown: Women make up half of the world's population. Woah, I know! Crazy right? For those of you who want more specific details, as of 2015, 49.5% of the world's population is made up of women, and that percentage raises to 50.4% in North America. [source]

All joking aside, one thing that many people forget is that all those articles and Facebook status' ranting about 'women's issues' have a lot more legitimacy than we want to give them because women's issues affect 50% of the entire world's population, so women's issues are world issues.

I'm not talking about wage gaps or dress codes or gender stereotypes or even beauty standards. Those are all things that are important and need to be talked about, but those issues have voices around the world speaking up and starting discussions about them. What I want to ask you today is about something that runs much deeper, but is so often invisible.

When you think of those women in your life, and all the words you would use to describe them, is survivor on that list of words? How many of those women do you look at in your daily life and see as survivors?

Maybe you can list one or two of your friends who have some rough backstories. Maybe this is a word you rarely use to describe those around you, but when you think of the vague faces of women around the world, its a word that's on your radar. Maybe it's not a word you've used at all. Let me share with you a truth that I hope sticks with you in the days and weeks to come: many if not most of the women you meet are survivors.

Let me say it one more time: Many if not most of the women you meet are survivors. Let me tell you why.

85% of domestic violence victims are women [source]

40-45% of women in abusive relationships are raped or abused during the relationship. [source]

70% of women worldwide will experience physical and/or sexual abuse by an intimate partner during their lifetime. [source]

1 in 3 women have been victims of some form of physical violence by an intimate partner in their lifetime. [source]

3               2               1

1 in 5 women have been raped in their lifetime. [source]

5          4          3          2          1

82% of juvenile victims of rape and 90% of adult victims of rape are female. [source]

1 in 5 girls are victims of child sexual abuse. [source]

5          4          3          2          1

Every nine seconds in the US a woman is assaulted or beaten. [source]

9

8

7

6

5

4

3

2

1

0

Do you realize the devastating implications of these statistics? The majority of women have been victimized, often by the men in closest proximity to them. And these statistics are only covering a small segment of issues. This is not talking about eating disorders or depression or self harm or divorce. Those would add even more women in pain to our discussion. 

Let those statistics sink in for a minute and apply them to the faces of women in your life. Think of Rachel, or Grace, or Sarah, or Kylie, or Brianna, or Hannah, or Katie, or Barb, or Linda, or Deb. Have they been victimized in these ways? 

The truth is, while these statistics themselves are devastating, they are not even scratching the surface of what women suffer worldwide. When we start talking on the global level we have to start considering that in many cultures, wife beating is a normal part of marriage, and giving birth to a baby girl is considered a disgrace. In war zones rape is used as a weapon. In many cultures worldwide, women are voiceless and suffer atrocities we can barely even start to imagine. 

When we look at women globally we have a whole new set of statistics to consider. Women make up 1/2 of the world's population, do 2/3 of the world's work and make 1/3 of the world's income. 60% of the world's illiterate are women. Women are thought to have less value and less to offer to the society. Therefore, globally women make up the majority of the world's poor and oppressed people. 

Maybe you've heard statistics like these before. Maybe you haven't. But the truth is: These statistics change things. Or at least they should. Knowing these facts should change the way we view the world and it should change the way we act towards the women around us. Especially as the body of Christ!

While we might expect that these statistics would be different within church walls, the sad fact is that they aren't. Women in the church face the same brokenness that women in the rest of the world do. Little girls in Sunday school have already been sexually abused. Teenagers in the youth ministry have been raped. And that women within the congregation has worn long sleeves to cover the bruises left by her godly husband. But let me clue you in on a little secret: women are strong. Broken women don't always look like broken women. Sometimes the most positive, most encouraging, most loving women are the ones that have faced the greatest hardships. And honestly, women have grown accustomed to being shut down, shut out, and silenced by the men around them, even if its in subtle ways. But this should not be, especially in the church!

Just look at the way Jesus treated women. He encountered broken women everywhere he went, in a culture where women were silenced, poor, and oppressed. In that culture, you had no hope or place in society if you had no husband. Jesus lived in a culture where sinful women were stoned, and husband-less women were poor and hungry. Women had no voice or authority in society. And yet Jesus did not treat women as society viewed them. He encountered women that were at the lowest position they could be at, and he still treated them with dignity and value. Think of the women caught in adultery. She was not alone in her sin, yet it was only the woman they brought to Jesus. To them, she was only a device they were using to catch Jesus in saying something that went against the Scriptures, and yet they intended to stone her. To them her life was worthless. But Jesus saw her and he had compassion on her. He did not speak to the men about her. He spoke directly to her. He gave her a voice. He silenced her oppressors. And instead of condemning her, he sent her home telling her to "sin no more". 

It was the same with the Woman at the Well. The woman's first impression of Jesus was one that made her question why he was treating her so nicely. He was a man, and she was a woman. He was a Jew, and she was a Samaritan. There was no reason he should even glance her direction, much less start a meaningful conversation with her. Especially since she was such an outcast even in her own town. Even the other woman didn't want to come collect water with her. And yet Jesus comes and starts talking with her as if none of these things matter. And even when the elephant in the room comes up, that she has had five husbands and the one she was living with now wasn't even her husband, Jesus treats her with the utmost love and dignity. As if her worth is not defined by what she has done or what she has suffered. *Gasp* What a concept! 

Not only did he treat sinful women with dignity and gave them a voice, but he included women in his ministry. Jesus had women disciples. Not within his group of 12 apostles, but within the 72 you better believe there were some women sitting there! In Luke chapter 8, it even mentions several notable women that supported Jesus' ministry financially, which was something only men did back in that day. And as we see in the story of Mary and Martha, Jesus was delighted to have women sitting at his feet and learning from him. 

It's time we started not just reflecting Jesus in how we pray or make disciples, but reflecting Jesus in how we treat women! 

The sad fact is that when we discuss women's roles in the church, we rarely discuss these aspects about Jesus ministry. When the topic of women comes up in Christian conversations, it is mostly because we are arguing whether or not women can preach or be pastors. Where are the discussions about how we can serve our sisters in Christ better? Where are the discussions about how we can give dignity and voice to broken women like Jesus did? When did women in the church become more of a political argument than a group of broken people that we can serve?

Also, there is a very key verse in Genesis 1:27 that we often forget about: "So God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them." This does not say that God only created men in his image and women are just the icing on the cake. This is how we act sometimes, though. The verse says that men and women were equally created in God's image. Male and female are distinct genders with unique differences to them, but both are equally created in God's image. So to most fully reflect the image of God to the world, men and women must work together. That's how God created it. There are aspects of maleness that enable men to reflect God is ways that women can't. And in the same way, there are aspects to femaleness that enable women to reflect God in a way that men can't. So to reflect God in the most powerful and tangible way possible, both men and women must be present, have a voice, and be empowered to use the gifts and abilities God has created them with. 

Now I certainly hope that I've already challenged your thinking to some extent. I have been praying even as I write these words that God would use my writing to speak His truth to you. But I'm not going to stop here. To really make my point I need to get practical. And to do that, I need to address each gender separately. So men, forgive me. I will be addressing the women readers, but I have a lot more to say to you. This is not because I want to condemn you or point fingers at you. I know a lot of blog posts of this nature do that, and I'm sorry. I have a very different message to share with you, but you've got to hang in there for just a moment while I address the women in the crowd.

Women,

I don't doubt that these statistics were no surprise for you. I know you know women who have dealt with these things and I know many of you have faced these things in your own life, and I am so sorry. I see you. Your pain is not invisible. I know that pain is isolating, but can we work to change that. What if the church was a place where pain and brokenness brought us into community? If we change the way we see other women, we can be part of changing the fact that so many women carry around this burden of invisible and isolating pain. As I was talking about this blog post with my roommate, she said something that I think is so true. "Almost all women are women in pain." What if we saw that when we looked at the women around us? What if we let this fact inform the way we do women's ministry? What if instead of doing tea parties where we talk about how to be the perfect Proverbs 31 woman, we hosted prayer nights where we fought on our knees for the desperate women in pain around us? 

And how much more can we let this affect our relationships. When we look into the face of our friend that just said she was "good", will we choose to see the fear and sadness in her eyes? Will we be bold enough to be good listeners? Will we hold our sisters and cry with them, even if healing is a slow journey? Will we give them space to lament and doubt why God lets bad things happen? Will we be their voice when they have no words from being silenced for so long? I challenge you from this day forward to see the women in your life differently and to let this knowledge inform your actions. If we all did this, how could we change the culture around us and be Jesus' hands and feet to a hurting world?

Men,

I beg you to wrestle with the things I've said in this post and as the Lord what He is asking of you. I know many posts of this nature end by telling you to stop treating women badly. And, I mean, yes please do stop if you find yourself in that place. But that's not what I'm here to tell you. 

Instead, I would like to take this time to tell you something I don't think you get told enough: You, as men, have such immense power and potential to positively impact the women around you. I need you to know that this is not just a women's issue. There are women all around you that need healing, and God can use you for His glory in that process. 

One example of this is shown through what God is doing to restore women who have been sex trafficked. God can bring all the women in the world to these shattered girls to minister to them, but there is something powerful in men stepping in and treating them differently then all the prior men who merely saw them as sex objects worth raping. When a man steps in and looks at her as a human and talks to her as if her voice matters, there is a certain aspect of her healing that begins that no woman could have made happen.

Men, you have the same power in the lives of women around you. In fact, I saved a specific statistic just for you. And I did so to make a very important point.

Around the world, at least one in every three women has been beaten, coerced into sex or otherwise abused during her lifetime. Most often, the abuser is a member of her own family. [source]

I would like to add something to this statistic, and that is this: most often the abuser is male. This is not always true. But statistics show that it is often the case. There are a lot of bad men in the world that use their position of power to hurt and use the women in their lives.

Why am I telling you this? Well first, I want to thank you for being the good guys. There are a lot of bad men in the world, but you are not one of them. But second, I want to explain why a lot of women feel like there are no good men in the world. 

When a woman is so deeply hurt by a man in her own family, it shapes the way she sees all men. God created girls to grow up with their fathers and brothers and uncles and cousins being examples of what men are like. As she grows older, she will get to know more men that are outside of these roles, but the men in those roles will forever color the way she sees all men. If such a vast majority of women are so deeply hurt by the men that they are so intimately acquainted with, how are we to expect women to respond? Why are we surprised when most women find it hard to trust the men around them? 

This is where I call upon the men of the church to act. God can use you to help heal and restore some of this damage that has been done. As you serve the women around you, God can start to restore their faith in men by showing them how he created men to treat women. 

God can use you to remind his daughters that men were created to be

protectors instead of abusers

humble servants instead of greedy rapists

and empower-ers instead of silencers

God can use you to empower the women around you and give them a voice so they can be equally involved in reflecting the image of God to the broken world. 

I know I've laid a lot of heavy information out for you, and now you want to know how you can fix the problem. So I'm gonna break it down for you in some really practical ways. These do not even come close to scratching the surface, which is why I ask you to wrestle with God about what He's asking of you, but here they are:

1. SEE the women in pain around you. This sounds simple, but it makes a world of difference.

2. PURSUE the women in pain around you. I'm not using this word in the cliche romantic way we're so used to. What I mean is don't shy away from relationship when women fail to trust you. Trusting you is going to be very hard if she has experienced abuse of any kind from a man that was close to her. Pursue her even when she has not reciprocated the favor. Ask her how she's doing even if it takes her a year to give you a real answer. Show her that you won't give up on her like other men have. Show her that you care about her as a person, and not just for what benefit you can get out of the friendship.

3. LISTEN to the women in pain around you. I know you want to fix it. And there may come moments when you can step in and take action. But the most powerful thing you can do for her is listen to her talk about what she has suffered and say, "I'm so sorry that happened to you. That should never happen. I'm here."

4. FIGHT for the women in pain around you. This can come in many different forms. One huge way you could fight for women is to stand against the things that victimize them. It's not just a woman's issue when a rapist gets a couple months probation instead of getting locked behind bars. It's not just a woman's issue when sexual assault gets blamed on what the girl was wearing that day. It's not just a women's issue when she comes to work flustered because a group of guys catcalled her on her way there, and now her guy friends are telling her "to be flattered". It's not just a women's issue when the guys are punching each other and joking about abuse, when three of the women watching have actually been abused. These are not just women's issues. These are world issues. And you can be a part of standing up against them. Let's make the church known for standing up for what's right. Let's let the church stand out for fighting for the truth. May the church be the place on earth where sisters fight for their brothers and brothers fight for their sisters. 

That's what I've got. I'm sure that there is more that could be said and I'm sure that it could have been said more eloquently in many cases. But may the Lord use these words to open your eyes, and change your hearts about half of the church's population. May we stand up for what's right, cry with those who cry, and follow in Jesus' footsteps even in this. May the church be known for being vastly different from how the world's inter-gender relationships function.

I truly believe that inter-gender relationships are something Satan has been using since the Fall to cause great division and deep hurt, but we can be different.

So I ask you, what words would you use to describe the women around you? Because there's one word you should add:

Survivor.

Chapter Seven: The Story Goes On

After God provided for my October school payment, I went to bed joyous over the love and faithfulness He had shown me. Each time I pondered His love, it brought me to tears. I could not even understand how He could be so good to me over and over again. It seemed to good to be true. Little did I know what He would do next.

I woke up the next morning at my normal time, ready for another day of school and more school. As I started preparing for my day, I noticed an envelope slipped under my door with my name on it. I picked it up, intrigued as to what it might be. I opened it and read the note inside, "From a [friend] who cares about your education..." I wondered what might be inside the envelope, so I opened it further and took a look. 

"No way! NO WAY! Oh my goodness! OH MY GOSH! What?"

My roommate looked up, wondering what I was freaking out about. "What? What's in it?"

"A hundred and fifty dollars!!!"

"What? No way!"

"I KNOW!"

For the one hundredth time, I was speechless at God's goodness to me. He had provided for me more times than I could count. It was no longer just a one time thing. It had become a pattern in my life. He had taught me over and over to trust Him, and when my trust started to falter He took my hand and gave me a gentle reminder of His faithfulness. 

Still, I am overwhelmed with gratitude to my heavenly Father whenever I think of how faithful He has been to me.

And it is still not easy to trust Him, when I don't have a plan B. Each time it takes more faith and dependence on Him. 

Still, I don't have a job. I've applied to many. I've even had many promising job interviews, but each time God closed the door. 

I still do not have enough money for my next school payment, but I trust that God will provide just enough money in just enough time. Because He cares for me. And He has called me out on the water to walk towards Him in faith.

But I'm kind of excited to see how He will provide for my next payment! Aren't you?